The Janus Mask
by AthenAltena
Summary: Kamatari Honjo leaves Japan after the defeat of the Juppongatana and reflects on his past, present and future. Rating for violence and mature themes.


The sound of a ship's horn startled Kamatari out of his daydreaming as the steamer left the port of Yokohama. Once again bored, he leaned on the railing and watched the retreating shoreline of the land Shishio had hoped to conquer. It would be a long, tedious trip... made none the more pleasant by the constant Sword of Damocles that was his feminine nature hanging over his head.

"Honjo-san" one of the sailors called from the starboard side. "The Captain wants to see you on the aft deck."

Hiding his annoyance Kamatari brushed past the sailor and flicked a hand through his hair, noting the way the sailor's eyes strayed just a bit too far south for comfort. Given the French school uniform he had been given Kamatari couldn't blame the boy – especially since this one was still clueless as to the true sex of their new passenger. Kamatari made a mental note to lock his door just in case the boy was angered when he inevitably found out from his crewmates.

It had always been like that – and the only man who'd dared to look past that was now dead, burned up in his own body fluids.

Although, the more Kamatari thought about it there was a time when he hadn't been afraid to unabashedly dress as a woman and show his love for men. But that, like many other things, had vanished with the Black Ships. There was a time that Kamatari had been an _oyama_ of Kyoto famous for his portrayal of the tragic females in Kabuki, but even his family's long history of Kabuki acting had meant nothing in the face of their allegiance to the now out-of-favor Shogunate forces.

By the time Kamatari was still very much at the peak of his acting career his family's theatre had all but gone out of business. And, a few days later, he'd been unceremoniously tossed out and made to fend for himself.

Many of the men who frequented the underground theatres were more than happy to buy him a few drinks after a performance, and often other things besides that even after finding his true gender. Therefore, it was not too jarring to go from the theater to the bars of Kyoto in order to earn his keep.

Since the name Honjo still had implications, he moonlighted as the charming Ichijo Yui. During that time he both learned to pass as a woman in daily life and realize that perhaps the gods had made a mistake in making him male.

But like everything in his life this relative period of bliss ended abruptly, quite literally with a slap in the face.

It had seemed like a perfectly normal night, the usual crowd pressing in around him and smelling of alcohol and sweat, until that one man who seemed more intoxicated than the rest had begun hitting on "Yui-chan" in a way that bothered Kamatari to no end. He always made a point to remain sober in these situations, but despite his resolve to dance just out of reach he was forcefully grabbed and groped through his kimono, until he felt the drunk man find something he obviously wasn't expecting.

Most of what Kamatari remembered after that was screaming – both his and the man's – and vicious punches over his face, back and torso. He'd somehow managed to stumble out into the street and its relative safety while the man stayed where he was, shaking an empty sake bottle over his head before blindly chucking it in Kamatari's general direction, all the while screaming about men dressing as women not knowing their place in the world. The other patrons of course did nothing to help, it was all a show to them, and the last thing they wanted was to become the next victim of the drunken man's wrath. Just for good measure Kamatari spit back in the direction of the bar before hobbling off into an alley towards the boarding house where he had paid off the lady to give him a room. However, he didn't get very far before the effect of the beating fully descended and his legs crumpled beneath him.

Just as he was beginning to wonder if he was going to die a pair of voices began drifting towards him. He opened his un-bruised eye and saw the silhouettes of a man and a woman walking towards him, their arms linked. He instinctively tried to curl into a ball and hide himself, but a shocked gasp from the woman told him that he'd already been seen.

"Oh! You poor, poor dear!" the woman crooned, kneeling down next to him and touching his bruised face. Kamatari felt his throat go dry at the realization that she too thought he was a woman.

"It's – I'm fine, really." He lied, trying unsuccessfully to hide a wince. But the woman was insistent, muttering to herself about the cruelty of men as she ran her hands over him and tried to find the areas he was bruised.

"Hush, dear." She said gently, her pretty mouth a tight line in concern. "Don't try to talk, we'll get you some hel –" She stopped mid-sentence, and Kamatari shut his eyes and braced for the inevitable backlash.

"Is something wrong, Yumi?" a low male voice said from behind them. Kamatari squinted, trying to make the figure out in the dim light. If he weren't mistaken the man appeared to be swathed in a heavy cloak despite the warm weather – and were those bandages on his face?

"It's just…" the woman, who was apparently named Yumi, took a deep breath before continuing. "He's a _man_." Yumi frowned for a moment before she went back to work identifying his injuries.

"What – What are you doing?!" Kamatari said in surprise, reflexively raising his arms as if to fend off an attack. He merely heard her sigh and move to help him to his feet.

"I don't care if you're a man, woman, or whatever." She said hotly, setting her mouth in tight line. "You're hurt, and I'm not going to leave someone to die just because of that. Right, Shishio-sama?"

The man chuckled somewhere low in his throat and moved to take Kamatari's other arm for support.

"That's right Yumi, and this one seems to be strong. I can see it in his eyes." Shishio's mouth twisted into something resembling a smile, and Kamatari suddenly thought that this man must have once been extremely good-looking before whatever accident had forced him to bandage himself so.

"What's your name, darling?" Yumi asked, the last word sounding sour in her mouth.

"Honjo. Honjo Kamatari." He managed to cough out just as another spasm of pain overtook him.

"Honjo? As in the Honjo Theatre Company?" Shishio inquired. "I saw one of your shows once. You were the jilted princess, I seem to recall, and I enjoyed it greatly." He sighed, a touch of nostalgia entering his voice. "I used to love Kabuki, back when I was handsome."

Kamatari almost added that he was still handsome, but another coughing fit put and end to that, possibly for the best. It was only later that he was able to get a good luck at her as she was applying a cool cloth to his swollen eye.

"I'm sorry, but are you Komagata Yumi?" he asked nervously. Her eyes flashed up suddenly, looking slightly dangerous.

"So what if I am?"

Kamatari winced as his eye began to sting.

"I saw you once in Kyoto. I thought… you were the most beautiful woman in Japan."

She smiled slightly, touching the beauty mark near her mouth fondly.

"Thank you, but those days are long gone. I haven't been an Oiran for a long time now, and I'm devoted solely to Shishio-sama now."

Kamatari nodded, feeling a sudden kinship to her. If she had managed to survive her fall from grace, perhaps there was hope for him as well. And he was starting to realize that they had something else in common: A love for the man who'd found both of them and pulled them out of despair.

In the following months and years Kamatari would fall sway to Shishio's philosophy and become one of his most valued fighters, vowing to follow Shishio to hell and back out of an undying love that had begun then in that deserted alley. Kamatari still felt a little bad for not dying with Shishio, but if what Cho said was true his calling lay elsewhere. If he could do even a little to tell Shishio's story, it might be enough.

He rounded the corner and came face to face with the Captain, one of the old-breed Japanese navy types who had _once _had color in his hair. He couldn't help but notice the way the man's eyes hardened briefly at the sight of him before they settled into a sort of fatherly concern.

"Ah, Honjo-kun, have your accommodations been acceptable so far?"

Kamatari huffed quietly at the Captain's question. He knew military doubletalk like the back of his hand, and hence realized that the inquiry was more out of an obligation to not get in trouble with the brass than any real concern for his safety. These military guys were all the same – all nice and friendly on the surface, but secretly resentful of the way he challenged their over-the-top masculinity by simply existing.

"It's been fine, Captain." He responded, for all appearances completely grateful, and most importantly, non-threatening. "And the crew has been very friendly." It was a lie, but they left him alone for the most part and kept their insults as anonymous whispers.

"I'm glad to hear that." The Captain fidgeted a bit and began to stroke his short white beard. "Now, I understand you'll be going to Paris, is that correct?"

"It is, Captain."

"Well, I was told to inform you that Paris has a growing theatre district, and given your… background… it may be of interest to you."

Kamatari thought about it for a moment before he smiled – not without a small amount of deviousness – and bowed politely.

"I appreciate the sentiment, Captain, but I believe I've had enough of the theatre."

The Captain's eyebrows rose slightly.

"Oh?"

"Yes." Kamatari said cheerfully. "I think what all this has taught me is that I should just be myself, and I'm frankly _tired_ of acting."

And with that he left the deck, a distinct swing in his hips. He suddenly felt very good about the entire situation, despite the apparent danger of being a spy in a foreign country and the ever looming threat of being discovered.

But as far as those mad sailors went, well, he hadn't been a Juppongatana for nothing. And if those two young women he'd fought in Kyoto had been any indication, being a girl _certainly_ didn't mean that one couldn't fight and win.

---

**Author's notes:** As I'm a history buff there are several historical references to the time period of Rurouni Kenshin, and for your reading ease here are few of the more obscure ones:

**Black Ships:** The arrival of United States Commodore Matthew C. Perry in Tokyo harbor and his "request" for Japan to open its ports (IE a threat of force if Japan did not comply) was the beginning of the end for Tokugawa Japan.

**Oyama:** Since women were forbidden from performing on the Kabuki stage men would play the parts of women, and despite their gender many of these _oyama_ were wooed by men in the audience to the point of brawls breaking out over the attention of these actors.

**Ichijo Yui: **Watsuki says in volume 15 that Kamatari is visually based off of Yui Ikari from _Evangelion_, hence this joke. Yui Ichijo was the original name for Rei Ayanami in Yoshiyuki Sadamoto's character designs.


End file.
